Whilst painting in The Shed t'other night my eye was briefly distracted...by the biggest spider I've ever seen outside of a glass tank. Vis:
I encountered one big-ass spider*.
NB: Please note the importance of hyphenation above. Had I written "I encountered one big ass-spider" the meaning would have shifted entirely. I chose to avoid the ambiguity of not hyphenating. Hmm... I might use this example in class tomorrow.
I'm not squeamish about such beasties, and our cottage (naturally enough) does have a propensity to attract them...but still - this guy was big.
I know, likewise, that many of you reading this from almost any other part of the world will have genuinely big and dangerous animals on the loose, but do please appreciate my concern: this fellow must've been fully three inches across and jet black, and that's simply not cricket. Seriously, I was fully expecting him to march off with the barbecue. Or me.
I say 'him', but given the three trillion baby spiders currently pootling around in the webs I share The Shed with, 'he' could well be a very proud 'she'.
In the UK our most dangerous animal is commonly considered to be the (fractionally venemous) adder, and our most vicious predator? - The badger. I simply shouldn't have to put up with such monstrosities in my shed!
Right then: back to work avoidance.
* Excuse the US 'ass' in lieu of 'arse'. Some phrases just work better that way!