Thursday 15 October 2009

162 Space Marines are Posers - I Have Proof!

It's true.

Just look at this double-spread from the 5th Ed rulebook (used without permission):

Now, we all know that those oh-so-clever astartes are ambidextrous...but don't you think it's a little too coincidental that all those to the right of the picture are firing right-handed, whilst all those to the left are - well - lefties?

What would the Emperor say if he thought anyone could spoil the aesthetic of an artistic last stand?

The only chap on the left who's dared to use his right hand is only doing so because the left one's been blown off - can you imagine the dreadful faux-pas had he accidently positioned himself to shoot the baddies on the right? He never would have had an open line to the audience!

And what about his mate with the white-ish bolter, to the left of Red-Knee-Pads at the bottom? Surely those hot spent bolt cases are going to eject right into his power-armoured crotch! Being ambidextrous is all very well, but most bolters appear to be made for righties...

...And don't even get me started on the two big lummoxes in the middle - they may as well have jazz hands!

There you go: space marines are posers - you can almost imagine the librarian setting up his tripod.

It brings a whole new meaning to space marine "cheese"!

- Drax

PS: Thanks to The Inner Geek.


  1. That is an awesome observation! I guess maybe the Index Astartes has a whole chapter on always making sure to have a front facing! I've got to get on the ball and make more left handed marines, who knew they were so common!

  2. Those are Black Templars in the picture so it would have to be a Chaplain setting up the Tripod as they don't have any Librarians :P

    Funny post!


  3. great observation. I never noticed this!

  4. It's all a deliberate attempt to hide their numbers, I assure you. This way, they can claim the other half were photoshopped. ;)

  5. I guess that's how they rolled in Third Edition! :D

    Great observation, Drax... I was looking at this just the other day and never would have noticed!

  6. laugh out loud! :)
    I'd never considered the consequences of being ambidexrous was to have hot, spent shells ejected groinward!

  7. Space Marines - The premier league footballers of the 40k world!

  8. Space Marines are tough. Hot shells on the groin ain't gonna stop the Emperor's Wrath!

  9. Ironically, in that picture, my eye always goes to the one marine in white. He's the devistator plasma guy (if memory serves) on the right half of the image.

  10. It's the special wot they got.

  11. Looking at a few of my marines' bolters, it looks like they have ejector ports on both sides of the receiver, so I think the bolters ARE ambidextrous. Perhaps the Black Templars in the picture are using an inferior STC of the bolter. :)

  12. The Heresy runs deeper than this... you have only begun to scratch the surface here.

  13. No, it's the signs of a lazy artist. He/she can hide most of the Space Marine by painting the bolter in the foreground. It's a shortcut and a cop out so the artist doesn't have to deal with dynamic poses and body proportions.

  14. Missed this one. Great post, though you are of course, stating the obvious... ;-D

    @oni: Surely having them turned the other way, with the backpack hiding the majority of their upper half would have been the lasier way to do it...


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